I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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