Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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