I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Sorry about my life...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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