come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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