This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
