well I can't set my house on fire every night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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