At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
