yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
