Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
