I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
