Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
