what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
