Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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