you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize