too bad you live with your parents still
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
