I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I understand Curling. That high.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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