he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
