is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Randomize
