Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
