So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
