Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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