had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
