after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize