i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
