We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
