I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize