I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
