i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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