I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize