my mouth tastes like poor choices
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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