I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
