i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
