she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
