My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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