why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
