stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize