Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
