Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
