Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
