I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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