Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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