By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
