maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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