A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
