so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
