Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
