dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize