But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
