I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
