imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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