But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
