every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
