Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
