i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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