I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize