i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
