one might say we're banned from that church
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
