you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
my poor anus
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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