she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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