Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
